Battling Breast Cancer Twice, Terrific!
Yep, that’s right folks I’ve got breast cancer…. AGAIN!! And ain’t gonna lie, feels pretty darn sucky! I’m a healthy eater, fittest I’ve been EVER and have 6yrs cancer free tucked nicely under my belt, so comes totally unexpected! Only 2wks in on this journey and had to think it through before deciding to document it on “Life Begins At” (weirdly felt a little self indulgent). But we’re all about supporting, encouraging and empowering women to overcome adversity, so time to put my money where my mouth is, be a warrior and take on this challenge with gusto and positivity. And might just help to share, right?
Therefore, I’m writing a kind of journal, to include treatment, emotions and maybe a few photos (if not too freaky deaky!) and those close can dip in for an update, saving repeating myself and ultimately depressing the crap out of myself by constantly talking cancer updates! Try to keep it short and punchy, but here goes….
Part One – Crappy Diagnosis..
Rewind 3wks to a routine annual mammogram, a month late because I’m a div! After 6yrs of clear mammograms you become a wee bit blasé – prompted by a second letter I attend, confident it’ll be clear like every other year, WRONG…. A letter dropped a week later recalling me for further investigation. Um, small twinge of worry but not panic, it’ll simply be a poor quality picture that just requires another squishing of the boobs in the vice. I sit in the breast screening clinic waiting room, read outdated gossip in well-thumbed, trashy mags and wait for my name to be called. Women come after and go ahead of me – that’s annoying, I’m too busy to be forgotten. A polite excuse me to the receptionist, she checks and says “you’re seeing the Doctor and the other ladies are having mammograms”…. Holy F’ing Cow!!!!!
Long story short, I had an anomaly on the left side (opposite boob to last time), looks like a cyst on the ultrasound, perfectly round and black (not like last time). The only concern is the lymph nodes are swollen, but could simply be down to an infection. They try to drain the cyst and nothing happens, stubbornly remaining intact and I can tell the radiography is concerned and decides to take a biopsy, the nurse kindly strokes my arm which sets my eyes off leaking a little – I’m reminded of a time I’d long since buried.
I know the score, it’ll be a week before I’m recalled for the results. Pushing it to the back of mind I crack on with everyday life and tell myself it’s a cyst, due to my history it’ll probably need removing and I’ll be less blasé in future, promise! Having miss-read the letter I arrive an hour late for the results appointment (christ I’m shite!). The receptionist tells me Mr Harrisha needs to see me and I’ve to wait (that ain’t good). What follows is a deja vu moment; the very same consultant who delivered the bad news 6yrs ago delivers the very same bad news “You have breast cancer”. I’ve to have a CT scan to check it’s not travelled further than the lymph nodes, great!
So, that’s where I am today, waiting – The CT scan’s scheduled for Wednesday Oct 5th at 11am to assess the situ – followed by a treatment plan. It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions, really positive to freaking out, just want to get it out of my body… Constantly scanning, looking for pains, indications it’s elsewhere and believe me you find them when in a state of anxiety! Today is a good day, the sun is shining and trying to breath and not hold my breath (do that when nervous!)
I’m distracting myself with getting myself match fit, I’ve given up alcohol, bought super strength milk thistle to prepare my liver for the inevitable chemo (it’s in my lymph nodes so no avoiding I fear!), bought a bumper load of turmeric root to juice (great cancer fighter), walking lots and meditating to get my mind focused. By far the greatest preparation is my supportive family and amazing girlfriends who are circling at the ready to keep me laughing (I’m blessed with the best friends – almost embarrassed to ask it from them again!)
Ironically October is breast cancer awareness month, so go check yourselves and be thorough as I can only find my 5mm lump by REALLY searching. Here’s what to look for and how: Check Yourself – If you’re worried Breast Cancer Care are a great source of knowledge and always available to talk to.
Fingers crossed for a good result from Wednesdays scan and I’ll be back with an update.
Love Lucy x